MY CHOICE - Kyle and Jackie O vs the 2day FM breakfast team

All aboard the Kyle and Jackie O express!

This vessel is on an unstoppable express route right to the top of the radio ratings leader board and I hate to admit it, but Kyle Sandilands was right. Yuk! Those words tasted horrible coming out of my mouth, but unfortunately it’s true.

Last year Kyle and Jackie O made the bold move to part ways from their former radio company 2day FM after 10 years to start a new family with Mix now rebranded as Kiis FM after some ‘differences’ the team was having with their old bosses. Jackie O had reserved feelings about how they might fair at their new station but Kyle Sandilands being, well, Kyle Sandilands he arrogantly believed that he would take all of his old listeners from his successors at 2day FM and smash them in the ratings despite his new station drawing less than a third of he and Jackie O’s audience share of 10.4 per cent at their old stomping ground.

The Kyle and Jackie O franchise was a well oiled engine and it was always going to be a hard team to replace. So Austero’s solution was to replace the old duo with 4 big personalities in Jules Lund, Merrik Watts, Sophie Monk and former Spice Girl Mel B. However, if you put 4 big engines on the same track together, they are eventually going to clash and derail.

Sandilands hit the nail on the head when he said “I listened to the (new 2day FM) show for a few minutes and it was all over the place. But that’s what happens when you have a few alpha personalities, there is no balance at all!”

It was always going to happen, if you like a ride you’re going to want to go on it again and again no matter where it is. If Hamish and Andy left the TODAY network to head to another station, their loyal listeners would follow them wherever they went. Let’s hope for Austereo’s sake that that doesn’t happen as they can’t afford to lose another amazing team to their competition.

With the new 2day FM teams ratings plummeting as the year goes by, the question begs, will there be a new opening for a Sydney Breakfast team at the end of the year? Maybe there’s only room on the tracks for one well-oiled machine.

THE TALK SHOW 1 - Neil Mitchell vs Jon Faine (774 vs 3AW)

They’re supposed to make your mornings, or, in many cases, ruin some state or federal politicians’ day as they probe, and persist, to get answers or help you make sense of polly waffle.

They – 3AW’s Neil Mitchell and ABC’s Jon Faine – are the kings of Melbourne talkback radio, and have dominated Melbourne’s airwaves for nearly 20years. But with the changes in how we get our news, is there room for either of these media greats on our airwaves anymore?

Neil Mitchell has dominated ratings since Jon Faine took up the airwaves in 1997 winning 127 times to Faines 12. But for the first time ever since competing against each other, Faine takes a 2-0 lead against Mitchell this year having some people predict that maybe this is a sign of things to come. The team down at ABC have admittedly tried to take on a younger, more commercial feel and in my opinion, they are heading down the right track.

It’s clear from the ratings that both shows are strong with the elderly audiences and I think I may know why. Talk back radio is where a lot of elderly turn to for their news reports. If you talk to someone over the age of 60 about ‘Twitter’, you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone that knew what you were talking about, however Twitter is now the fastest way in media to find out what is going on in the world. This is the way of the future and not to run the risk of sounding too offensive, the elderly won’t be around for much longer and unless Mitchell and Faine can appeal to a younger generation, I fear that the era of talk back radio might be dying as well.  

There was a perfect example of how out of touch their audiences were with one of the talk back threads on Neil Mitchells show being about how Australia Post was going to cut the amount of days they deliver mail down to only 2 days a week. This topic brought in quite a lot of discussion from, you guessed it, the elderly who were quite upset at the prospect of not hearing from their pen friends every single day.  One caller even saying that she “doesn’t have that silly email thing or whatever it’s called”.  Give it 15 years and most households won’t have a landline for their phones either.

Neil Mitchell has one of two choices, he either takes a leaf out of Jon Faines and the ABC’s book and changes the feel of their 3AW show to appeal to the younger generation or, and this is my advice as well, step aside at the end of the year when his contract ends and pass the reigns over to a man who is capable of conforming.

  

THE SPORTS BROADCAST - 3AW vs Triple M

The latest radio ratings surrounding football timeslots are in! And it’s bad news for 3AW.

The employees of 3AW might be used to the echoes of Brian Taylors famous catchphrase “Boy ‘O Boy”. Woweee” echoing through the corridors, but this time, he isn’t commentating the footy. He’s reading the latest radio figures. To be fair, there wasn’t much to like about the figures for BT with his station, a long-time powerhouse on the airwaves, copping a fair whack from archrival Triple M and the ABC.

Along with his famous catchphrase echoing the corridors, there have also been murmurs coming into the 2014 AFL season about some big names coming out of contract at the station and that management were keen to see an improvement on the recent fail in ratings. However, these numbers are a disaster!

Triple M is comfortably ahead when it comes to the two marquee timeslots of Friday night and Saturday afternoon particularly with the younger generation.

Don’t get me wrong, 3AW rates really well with the elderly, but unfortunately for them, the category with the most listeners happens to fall in the age demographic of 10-54 and that’s where they are failing.

The overall numbers on Friday night have Triple M on 10.8 and 3AW on 8.2, however in the age demographic of 10-54 the numbers from Triple M were 14.3 and 3AW picking up the scraps on a disappointing 3.8.

I was pretty bias going into this review having connections with Triple M but based off these ratings I don’t feel so bad anymore about my thoughts on 3AWs broadcast of the footy. Triple M obviously connects with the younger demographic due to its exciting commentating team.

And it’s probably fair to say that Brian Taylor and the others down at the 3AW headquarters might be looking for answers over the coming weeks due to those ugly ratings before the season gets too far out of hand!

THE RADIO DOCUMENTARY - ABC (RN) w/ Robyn Williams on The Science Program

Robyn Williams takes us on a journey with his show ‘The Science Program’ on Radio National. And not just any journey either. His interviewing skills this time round felt like he brought us on a journey 7 billion km into deep space.

The Rosetta mission is a cornerstone mission to chase, go into orbit around, and land on a comet. Williams takes on an interview with Warwick Holmes from the European Space Agency to help us understand an intriguing unmanned mission that shows the effort that a team of amazing scientists and engineers will go to, to understand the mystery behind what could have possibly created water on our planet.

Rosetta is a robotic spacecraft built and launched by the European Space Agency to perform a detailed study of comet 67P. It was launched in March 2004 and is expected to reach the comet in August of this year. It is the first mission designed to both orbit and land on a comet. The journey to the comet has included a fly-by of Mars to fling the craft out into a larger orbit.

This radio documentary has you hooked from the get go with Holmes’ opening statements building up the excitement of the mission to that of landing on the moon for the first time, “…it’s taken us ten years, 7 billion kilometers of flight, and to do a soft landing on the first attempt, if it happens…I mean, it is a very difficult procedure, but if we can get that lander down on the first attempt, it will be too incredible for words.”

Holmes goes on to discuss that the challenge now for the team has been to slow the craft down to match the velocity of the comet with the aim of the mission being to land on the surface then conduct experiments to determine the nature of the comet.

Holmes explains that the mission follows up suggestions that the water on Earth was delivered during the early history of our planet by an intense bombardment of comets containing water and then goes on to predict that they may have even been the building blocks of life on Earth as well. “The water on Earth has a particular ratio of hydrogen, known as tritium which contains extra neutrons. If the water on comet 67P has hydrogen with this same ratio, and further if amino acids are present, then the evidence will mount that water and the building blocks of life were indeed delivered to Earth by comets.”

The interview is conducted via phone call but it sounds as if Holmes is an astronaut communicating with earth from his tiny tin-canned spaceship in outer orbit giving the interview a very romantic illusion to it.

The production and editing of this Radio Documentary leaves you wanting more and I am now intrigued as to what will happen a few months down the track when Rosetta tries to land upon a comet for the first time.

THE MUSIC SHOW SPECIALIST - Music Deli, Bombay Royale live set

Who doesn’t like a live gig from a great band? Walking into a smoke filled venue with your mates in toe and pushing your way through the crowds so that you can get the best view right at the front of the stage. Smelling the sweat of the artist performing and not being able to hear yourself sing along to your favourite songs over everyone else belting out the same tunes.

Unfortunately sometimes, we are unable to make it to that said gig. Whether it is because it’s in another state, or you may just not have the funds to be able to afford to go.

Well fear not my fellow music loving friend because that’s where ‘The Live Set’ comes to the rescue! ABC’s RN team gives you front row seats to some of your favourite Australian and international guests from studios all over the country.  

I myself am a big fan of The Bombay Royale – a Melbourne based 11 piece band who draws inspiration from vintage Bollywood soundtracks. Their music combines elements of surf, soul, funk, disco and almost everything in-between.

The Live Set presenter Alice Keith, brought to me this amazing concert to the comfort of my own living room. Yes, I’ll be the first to admit that it would have been much better to be there live in the room to see all the colourful costumes that I know Bombay Royale are famous for, but I’ll tell you what….listening on the radio was a pretty good substitute!

Alice introduced the band, but at the same time did an amazing job describing what the look of the stage and costumes were as well. She had me closing my eyes and being able to imagine that I was there. On top of that, unlike at a ‘normal’ concert, you don’t get a mid-show interview like you do by listening to one of these live radio concerts. Alice interviewed the band halfway through their performance, breaking up the hour long concert nicely and also allowing us as the listeners to hear a side of the Band that we may not have otherwise known before.  

If you’re bored at home one night and can’t afford to head out on the town, I highly recommend chilling out and listening to a live set of some great upcoming and talented artists on ABC’s Radio National Channel.

BREAKFAST PROGRAM REVIEW 2 - MATT and ALEX (Triple J)

There are not many things worse than an awkward blind date. Oh wait! Yes there is! Matt and Alex dedicating an entire three hour show to one.

The Triple J’s breakfast duo put the call out to their listeners to see who could win a double date with long time host Alex and the shows newsreader Amelia Marshall. Listeners Jess and Aidan were the ‘lucky’ two who won their way into the date by telling a fun fact about themselves. Aidan who proclaimed to be able to bend his nose so that it lays flat on his face somehow charmed newsreader Amelia into choosing him as her date, and Sydney-sider Jess won Alex over by being a lover of cheese. Although, after pictures arose of what Jess looked like, some might argue that the selection process might've been rigged to favour Alex who, like Aidan, were punching a fair bit above their belts!

The date took place at a one star Asian restaurant which was attached to an unbranded service station where the menu consisted of pictures on a wall and a number stating what the dish was called. Not the most romantic of settings for an evening out, but the Breakfast team were obviously trying to get some cheap laughs at the expense of a ‘cheap’ date.

However the show, much how I imagined the food from the restaurant, only left a bad taste in my mouth. There’s only so much I can listen to a story about someone’s night out on the town with a cute girl, and unfortunately for me, I had to endure 3 hours of the same topic with only the designated number of songs to break up what turned out to be one of the worst segments I've ever heard on radio.

And to make matters worse, it seems as though the breakfast team had eaten a bit too much of the poor quality number 3 dish from the tacky service station. The offsite broadcast (OB) recordings that they did from the date sounded like they were recorded from the bottom of a dumpster, making it at times very difficult to hear what was going on. If you’re going to design a whole show around a concept, at least make sure you make the audio to a commercial radio quality, or at least to a quality to which its listeners can understand.

This episode of Matt and Alex belonged in the in the same place as a 3 day old dish eaten at a 1 star Asian restaurant attached to an unbranded service station during one of the most awkward dates I have ever almost been able to hear – in the bin!  

BREAKFAST PROGRAM REVIEW - Weekend Breakfast with Jo, Michael and Byron (the Fox)

The weekend Breakfast show airs from 7-9am on Saturday and Sundays. After the big shuffle up on commercial radio going into 2014 this show too has made some host adjustments. The question begs, have they hit the nail on the head with this team?

Almost like a monoleith amongst apes, the power and knowledge that comes with a national broadcast radio show is huge! So you’d think Southern Cross Austereo and the TODAY network would be a little more careful who they put on their airwaves.

Jo Stanely the former co-host of the Melbourne Breakfast team for 10 years alongside radio legend Matt Tilley has put her relaxed shoes on and joined the Weekend Breakfast team. Jo has taken over from previous hosts Dave Thornton and Sophie Monk who have both moved to weekday breakfast time slots. Joining Jo is the very talented Byron Cook who just spent 3 years anchoring the Fifi and Jules Drive show. The two of them bring to the show experience, brilliant comedic timing and a fan base to boot. So what’s the problem? Well, it’s their third co-host that has me reaching and scrambling to change the channel. 

If you at any stage lowered yourself to watching a small show that goes by the name of Big Brother, you may remember a chubby looking fellow called Michael Beveridge. With his long shaggy red locks and moustache, he more resembles an orang-utan than a human being, which actually would explain a lot.

For someone that is a self-confessed genius, Beveridge hasn’t been very clever on the airwaves opting for cheap laughs with borderline offensive jokes. His ‘thing’ is to make up jingles, the most recent one trying to compare cooking reality shows to the crisis going on in Ukraine. Or if making fun of a country currently on the brink of war isn’t up your alley, maybe you’re more interested in making fun of people who can’t defend themselves, not because they aren’t in the room, but because they are dead. At one stage Beveridge made up a jingle telling John Lennon that maybe he should’ve taken more care, possibly wearing protective head ware at all times suggesting that it was the former Beatles fault that he was murdered.

The down-right rude and offensive remarks coming out of the former Big Brother house mates mouth aren’t doing anyone any favours, especially not his co-hosts Jo and Byron. In fact, it gets to a very awkward point where you can hear the tension in Jo Stanleys voice as Beveridge enjoys talking over the radio royalty constantly to have his say. Even the brilliant anchoring work of Byron Cook can’t reign in the ropes of this beast and I say, Michael Beveridge, it’s time to put your tools down and go back to where you came from. Unfortunately for the people of Adelaide, that happens to be on his own show hosting the weekday Breakfast time slot.